In no fewer than three sentences, critique the following paragraph. Explain where it could be improved. Then, in your own words, rewrite the paragraph to make its writing stronger. Make sure you include a hook, supporting evidence, and a topic sentence. Please use correct spelling and grammar.

Playing in the snow is one of my happiest childhood memories. The winter offers more than a time for kids to have fun. There are many things to do in the snow. It is unfortunate that so many people find the wintertime annoying. More people should step outside to enjoy the snow. I am glad I grew up where it snows.

Answers

Answer 1

Answer:

Explanation:

Playing in the snow seems to be part of many childhood memories. As it happens, it was also part of mine. When it snows during the winter, it provides an opportunity for children to have fun, from building a snowman to making snow angels and even snowball fights. It truly is unfortunate that some people are adverse to this wonderful pastime and I believe that they should take advantage of this annual occurrence. Memories of playing in the snow really brighten my day and for that, I am really grateful.

You could have listed some examples. You could also use more mature diction and connected some sentences to create a varying length of sentences.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask


Related Questions

Have you ever given up eating certain food or drinks for a cause? If so, explain. If not, would you? Why or why not?

Answers

Answer:

I don't drink soda, as the industry uses over 20 pounds of sugar in most bottles of soda like coca cola and Fanta. however the marketing makes it seem as if drinking soda is health but over 25% of people are becoming fat

From Edgar Allen Poe's "The Tell-Tale Heart"

TRUE! --nervous --very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses --not destroyed --not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How, then, am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily --how calmly I can tell you the whole story.

It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night. Object there was none. Passion there was none. I loved the old man. He had never wronged me. He had never given me insult. For his gold I had no desire. I think it was his eye! yes, it was this! He had the eye of a vulture --a pale blue eye, with a film over it. Whenever it fell upon me, my blood ran cold; and so by degrees --very gradually --I made up my mind to take the life of the old man, and thus rid myself of the eye forever.
The narrator maintains that he is sane, yet his actual words undermine this. Which line from this passage makes the reader question the narrator's sanity?

A) "He had the eye of a vulture --a pale blue eye, with a film over it."
B) "For his gold I had no desire."
C) "It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night."
D) "Whenever it fell upon me, my blood ran cold; and so by degrees --very gradually --I made up my mind to take the life of the old man, and thus rid myself of the eye forever."
Eliminate

Answers

Answer:

This is what I wrote (and it is not plagerized you can even check)

Explanation:

The sound that the narrator thinks he's heard at the end of the story is the old man's heartbeat but what he actually hears is his guilty conscious, because that is what is making him think that he can still hear the old man's heartbeat is that since he feels guilty about what he did his conscious is making it seem like the heart is still beating. In the text, it says that " I admit the deed-tear up the planks!-here, here! it is the beating of his hideous heart!" that shows how the narrator got tired of "hearing the heartbeat" so what he did was confess to what he did. The effect that the narration has on the story is that the suspense because in paragraph 17 we the audience are getting anxious because when the police arrive at the house were wondering at what time he will get caught.

The answer is (D)

Whenever it fell upon me, my blood ran cold; and so by degrees --very gradually, I made up my mind to take the life of the old man, and thus rid myself of the eye forever is line from this passage makes the reader question the narrator's sanity. Hence, option D is correct.

What is the concept of the passage?

At the conclusion of the story, the narrator believes that he can still hear the old man's heartbeat, but what he actually hears is his guilty conscience.

This is, because of his remorse over what he did, the old man's conscience is making it appear as though the heart is still beating. "I accept the deed-tear away the planks!-here, ! It is the throbbing of his horrible heart," the text states. This illustrates how the narrator grew weary of "hearing the heartbeat" and decided to come clean about what he had done.

Thus, option D is correct.

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Which of the following words best describe the concept of commitment (8 points)

Answers

Answer:

What are the words???

Explanation:

Answer:

I'm pretty sure it is choice

Explanation:

I think this is because when you even start with the idea of making a commitment, you have to make a few choices. Those choices could be:

how you will accomplish this goal.What this goal will beetc.

What is the meaning of the word implication as it is used in this audio? final examination a clear suggestion proven scientific fact success at a task

Answers

Answer:

a clear suggestion

Explanation: took the test  

The meaning of the word implication as it is used in this audio is:

A clear suggestion

Connotative meaning

This refers to the implied meaning of a word based on the context used.

With this in mind, we can see that based on the complete question and audio, we can see that the connotative meaning of the word "implication" based on the context is a clear suggestion.

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Fill in with suitable preposition of direction. The mouse went __________the kitchen and the cat followed.
1 point
from
to
towards
on

Answers

Answer:

The mouse went to the kitchen and the cat followed

If my answer helped, please mark me as the brainliest!!

Thank You!

Which sentence from the conclusion paragraph best rephrases the author's thesis?

Answers

What is the article/book?

Explanation:

Where is the story for me to answer?

What is a theme of "The Cremation of Sam McGee"?

It is important to travel to faraway places with friends.

It is important to keep difficult promises to friends.

Friends can become closer under brutal conditions.

Life is too short to worry about mistakes.

Answers

Answer: It is important to keep difficult promises to friends

Explanation: I took the test

Answer:

it is important to keep difucult promeses to freinds

Explanation:

because sam mcGee tells his freinds to cremate him so he does not freeze anymore.

PLEASE HELPPP ME I ONLY HAVE 5 MINUTES PLEASE HELP
When you include the deeply-ingrained societel demand of being a certain body type for female athletes, the judgment is even more extreme.
What change should be made in the sentence above?
A) Change you to I
B) Change societel to societal
C) Delete the comma after athletes
D) Change is to was

Answers

Answer:

A

Explanation:

Answer:

B) Change societel to societal

Which statement best describes the impact of word choice in this passage

Answers

Answer:

what's the full question

Explanation:

....????????????

Answer:

answer is D edge 2021

Explanation:

Which statement best describes the impact of word choice in this passage?

Words that reference religion create a sense of reverence for the reader.

Words used to describe the narrator’s journey bring a sense of joy to the reader.

The description of the narrator’s actions indicates that he is an evil character.

The repetition of a word associated with war and decay emphasize the horror of the past.

Based on the excerpt, which best explains why Mr. Diminesdale's speech to Hester Prynne is so moving to the audience?

Mr. Dimmesdale is able to charm the audience with a voice that rings out clearly and brightly as if singing the melody of a

song.

Mr. Dimmesdale speaks with such a measure of authority that people cannot help but be captivated by the force of his

words

There is a depth of intense emotion underlying the words Mr. Dimmesdale speaks, as if he cannot control the feelings he

is experiencing.

There is a detached rationality underlying the words Mr. Dimmesdale speaks, as if he is an expert in matters of the heart.

Answers

Answer:

C. There is a depth of intense emotion underlying the words Mr. Dimmesdale speaks, as if he cannot control the feelings he is experiencing

Explanation:

Got 100% on edge.

Answer: There is a depth of intense emotion underlying the words Mr. Dimmesdale speaks, as if he cannot control the feelings he is experiencing.

Explanation:i just took the quiz

According to the passage, nacre is

I. part of an oyster’s shell
II. what a pearl is made of
III. foreign matter that enters an oyster

Answers

i need the passage if you want me to answer. 3

Answer:

the answer is the number 3

What are the characteristics of ineffective notes? Check all that apply.
They are illegible and hard to read,
They cannot be used as a reference,
They include headings and formatting.
They contain symbols and abbreviations.
They contain too little information.
They contain too much information,
They summarize key information.
PLEASE HELP

Answers

Answer:

They are illegible and hard to read

They cannot be used as a reference

They contain too little information

They contain too much information

Explanation:

Notes are used as a reference so that you can look back at them and quickly recognize key information. If they are hard to read, then you cannot use them. If they cannot be used as a reference, there is no point in even looking at them. If they contain too little information then you won't have enough details to answer questions or help you. If they contain too much information, then it may be hard to find the needed information.

They should include headings and formatting to help quickly find and recognize the information. They should contain symbols and abbreviations, again,  to quickly recognize the information. It should also summarize key information. Long, lengthy paragraphs are not recommended for notes because it makes information difficult to understand and locate.

Please mark brainlyest, please!!!

Answer:

1,2,5,6 (a,b,e,f)

In Robert frost’s “mending wall” what negative connotation does the wall have?
A. Physical boundary between properties
B. Fenced structure to keep animals out
C. Emotional barrier between people

Answers

A because Not only does the wall act as a divider in separating the properties but also as a barrier to friendship and communication.

7. In "Written in March," the poet uses rhyming lines to create a


a. pleasing variety


b. unique insight


c. musical quality


d. building momentum

Answers

Answer: I think its C

Explanation: i did this before and its not A or D

Read the sentence.

Laura Bush was an active first lady she advocated for women’s health and promoted education.

Which is the best way to rewrite this sentence?


Laura Bush was an active first lady: She advocated for women’s health and promoted education.

Laura Bush: was an active first lady she advocated for women’s health and promoted education.

Laura Bush was an active first lady she advocated for: women’s health and promoted education.

Answers

Laura Bush was an active first lady: She advocated for women’s health and promoted education.

Answer: The first option is correct.

"Laura Bush was an active first lady: She advocated for women’s health and promoted education." Hope this helps you out!

QUICK SOMEONE PLEASE ANSWER!! Marcia’s patients typically have back problems including sore muscles and stiff necks.



Which career does Marcia most likely have?

Clinical Psychologist
Chiropractor
Pediatrician
Surgical Technologist

Answers

answer:

chiropractor

explanation:

a chiropractor uses quick sharp, movements to improve flexibility, balance and coordination in muscles and joints mostly for the back & neck.

The career that Marcia most likely has based on the patient's problems is: Chiropractor.

Who is a Chiropractor?

A chiropractor is a physician that treats problems that are related to the neuroskeletal system.

Since Marcia's patients have back problems that equally affect the muscles and necks, then we can infer that Marcia is a Chiropracter.

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what was greg’s first impression of lemon brown

Answers

Answer:

He didn't appreciate him because he is a poor man, although at the end, he realizes that he is very succesful.

Explanation:

Bonus Question: What is the name of the state that was Bethany Hamilton in when a shark bit off part of her arm?

Answers

Answer:

Hawaii

Explanation:

Answer:

state of Hawaii

Explanation:

But on October 31, 2003, during a surfing session off the shore of her home state of Hawaii, she suffered a major setback. Bethany was lounging with her left arm over the side of her board when a 14-foot tiger shark clamped down on her arm, severing it just below the shoulder.

Filmmaking is about control. The screenwriter controls the story. The director controls the actors. The camera operator controls what the audience sees.
However, one element that is very difficult to control is sound. If a film is being made outdoors, a noisy plane might fly overhead. A flock of geese might start squawking. An actor's stomach could grumble during a take. Worse, the footsteps of the filmmakers might be heard off-camera.
All of these things can ruin a film's sound. This is why films use Foley artists. Foley artists improve film sound by recreating it in a soundproof studio. They record themselves making footsteps and opening doors. They jingle keys in their pockets. They sit in old creaking chairs. These sounds are then used to replace the unwelcome sounds that were captured during filmmaking.
Foley sound was named after Jack Foley, who was born in 1891. Jack developed sound tricks that many filmmakers still use today. For example, he moved a cloth around in his pocket to mimic the sound of actors moving around.
Foley sound recording can be physically demanding. If a film showed an actor running and jumping, this probably meant the Foley artist had to run and jump, too. Foley artist Dustin DuPilka, who recorded sounds for the movie Men in Black, said, "If there's a lot of running in a certain [scene], you have to get ready to sweat all day."
Foley sound recording also requires a lot of creative thinking. Artists go to great lengths to get the perfect sound. For example, in the movie E.T., a Foley artist used a wet T-shirt stuffed with Jell-O for E.T.'s walk. In the movie Ice Age, a huge log was dropped into a pit of mud to create the mammoth's footsteps.
The next time you watch a film, listen carefully. Chances are that much of what you are hearing was created by a Foley artist.
5
The author says that Foley sound recording requires a lot of creative thinking. The author supports this idea by
A.
including step-by-step instructions so readers can record their own Foley sound.
B.
presenting facts about films that were made without the use of Foley sound.
C.
giving examples of creative sound effects that were used in popular movies.
D.
showing what happens when Foley artists do not have enough creativity.

Answers

Answer:

C: Giving examples of creative sound effects that were used in popular movies.

Explanation:

After the author claims Foley sound recording requires a lot of creative thinking, she gave examples of the popular movies E.T. and Ice Age by describing the creative uses of objects to make good movie sounds.

Happy Halloween!

Why do you remember the time when you got your first pet? PET OWNERS ONLY!

Answers

Answer:

Because it was a very special time for me.

Explanation:

It's sad because he ran away, his name was CrackerJack and it was a dog. I have a guinea pig named Caramel now.

Which statement describes Mary’s motivation for covering up her crime?

From: LAMB TO THE SLAUGHTER

Answers

The correct answer is (A) She wants to protect her unborn child.

Mary is about six months pregnant when she finds out that her husband is going to leave her.

This comes as a shock to her. She is very agitated and impulsive at this point.

Hence in the heat of the moment, she kills her husband.

She did not want to go to prison because she can not bear the fact that they will take her child away from her.

She even thinks that they might kill her unborn child.

She could not bear the thought of this, hence she decided to cover up the murder.

How does verb tense help with the sequencing of storytelling and writing?

Answers

Answer:

Because literary past tense is the default for most writing, readers will–without thinking about it–assume every story using past tense verbs is in literary past tense…until the story’s writing proves otherwise. Most stories trying to be normal past tense will reveal themselves early.

Explanation:

Hope this helps- Good luck ^w

In House Taken Over, what comment to the events in the story make on modern life?

Answers

is house taken over the story

Read the paragraph.

(1) Last week, our English class watched a hilarious movie based on a novel. (2) In it, a couple of incompetent thieves bungle their way through a heist. (3) After several escapades, a priceless painting is stolen by the thieves. (4) But then, the thieves make an impressive blunder and accidentally return it.

Which sentence in the paragraph is in the passive voice?

Sentence 1
Sentence 2
Sentence 3
Sentence4

Answers

Answer:

Sentence 3

Explanation:

How do you all define leadership.
For class I needed to interview a community leader and ask for his or her definition of leadership.

Answers

Answer:

leadership is someone who uses there voice to be heard but still in a respectful way. its someone who does what needs to be done even if its not the popular opinion. leadership for me means being a kind and respectful person who does whats right even if nobody knows and most importantly its standing up for what you believe in.

Explanation:

Which of the following lines is an example of personification?

The old black witch-woman worked on them all summer, every summer, down on her creaky knees, weeding and cultivating and arranging, while the house crumbled and John Burke rocked.
He stood still as an oak tree.
The great oak seemed to laugh with him.
He felt like a great oak.

Answers

Answer:

The great oak seemed to laugh with him.

Explanation:

Personification is basically when a writer gives human traits/abilities to something that isn't living. Since an oak tree, literally speaking, cannot laugh, this line would be personification since it's describing exactly that.

Answer:

The great oak seemed to laugh with him.

Explanation:


Please list the different levels of Federal Courts?

Answers

Answer:

The federal court system has three main levels: district courts (the trial court), circuit courts which are the first level of appeal, and the Supreme Court of the United States, the final level of appeal in the federal system.

Explanation:

and yes i used google but i hope it helps

Mr. Mead is the only human citizen out at night. What small pleasures does he indulge in during his walk?

Answers

WELL after you told me the name i have NO clue sorry

Mr. Mead enjoys stargazing, listening to the weather, and going for solitary walks at night causing him small pleasure in his life.

What is the story The Pedestrian about?

In "The Pedestrian," Ray Bradbury has chosen to comment on how these advancements have affected society. He demonstrates by description and picture that if humanity develops to the point when a society loses its species, then humanity might as well vanish from the face of the earth.

The author of the short story "The Pedestrian" enjoys the simple pleasures of stargazing, talking to the wind, and appreciating the beauty of the night. Also, he enjoys the simple act of walking and the sense of solitude that comes with it when it's dark. Of this small and beautiful moment that he captured, he feels a lot of pressure and in his life. That makes him an easy person to live with.

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The article "For the Dogs" discusses German Shepherds’ service in which war?

World War I
World War II
The Korean War
The Gulf War

Answers

Answer :     its not world war 1

Explanation: Im doing this question to

Answer:

ww2

Explanation:

hi

In the context of the short story, how do people face death? The landlady hints at her sinister intentions throughout the text - do you think Billy should have realized her plans? Was he in denial of his own fate? Cite evidence from this text, your own experience, and other literature, art, or history in your answer.

Answers

Answer:

A) In the context of the story "The Landlady", people face death many times, without knowing they are initially.

Billy did think there was something odd about the way he was received and ushered in. Only that he kept excusing them away.

B) Billy, I think, should have realised her plans. There was nothing ordinary about an Inn that had had only two guests in two years and whose guests were still in the Inn.

Another pointer to just what she was capable of, was the fact that she was skilled in the ability to enbalm dead bodies.

C) Billy was probably under a spell and not in denial. From the moment he walked into the Inn. There were lots of clues to show that the Inn was unusual. First was the fact that with such a ridiculous price, he was the only guest that night and many nights before.

A guest in their right minds would have taken an objection to staying.

Cheers

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